Day 4

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Well, the longest stretch in a very long time. Cruising, that’s how today felt. It might be cheating just a bit because I did avoid some social engagements and it’s 9:15 and I’m in bed. But, whatever. I didn’t drink. And it was OK.

Went to a GA meeting today. Saw my sponsor. She had a new grandbaby yesterday.

I find her very hard to communicate with. And she’s a bit domineering. I’m going to remind open minded. I don’t have to decide anything right now. She did give me a guide to the fourth step. I’m going to do it and share all my junk with the kindly Orthodox Jew.

After the meeting, I offered to give another gal a ride back to her treatment center. She then asked if we could get lunch and stop at a store first. I was momentarily peeved until I realized I was hungry anyway and the meeting ended about 45 minutes ahead of schedule. So lunch and shop we did.

Conversation with other GA folks can be hard for me because I actually want to overshare. But we had a fine enough time with only a few awkward moments around suicide attempts (her), losing custody (her), how my therapist doesn’t really agree with what GA has told me (me) and smoking meat (me again).

But I got in some human-to-human time, so I could check off that box, for today anyway, even if I did blow off a friend’s art show thing tonight.

Dear lord, thank you for making day 4 such a breeze. Can I get a repeat for tomorrow? Also please help me remain open minded, honest with myself and others and willing to change.

I spent most of today in the yard with my new leaf blower/mulcher clearing out the debris of last year. Sticks and stones, and leaves and dirt and trash. It was therapeutic on many levels.

But I hit the wall around 7, and tried not to think about all that was undone I made it through my first sober Saturday in a long while, but I’m under no illusion that my first sober Sunday will be easy. on my list. Tomorrow is another day.