Resolved … I Think

I know, I know - day 1, and I’m already thinking how easy this will be. But it’s interesting how sometimes it’s easier to do something when someone says, “Hey, you should stop drinking for a while,” versus the chatter in my head saying, “You should stop drinking. And lose 15 pounds. And find a new job. And declutter your closet. And clean the damn bathroom already.” On and on and on my brain goes.

The kindly Orthodox Jewish counselor just said: No drinking, 30 minutes of exercise a day and meditation. It’s just that simple.

Last night was fine and pretty much par for the course for early days of not drinking. I was in bed reading by about 10, zonked out by 10:30, awoken around 12 by my sweet husband and then I tossed and turned all night.

But - BUT - I didn’t wake up hungover.

I have yet to get to the glorious sleep that is promised in sobriety. I am hopeful, though, as I never have any issue falling asleep, but it’s hard for me to stay there.

Tonight there is a presentation about meditation at the library at 7. That should get me through the “witching” hour.

I’m really not even scared of not drinking, per se. I’m really quite ready for a sustained break, as evidenced by recent attempts to stop. But I’m scared of being scared. Ain’t that something?

Well, I am 10+ hours into day 2, almost halfway. That’s pretty darn good, I think. I plan to reward and praise myself copiously throughout this adventure.