Day 17

Something in my head is trying to get out. I can’t name the feeling. Longing? Sadness? Anxiety? Fear?

I don’t know, but it’s hanging out in the bottom of my tummy. I am tired.

Is this my life? This, here, tonight? Sitting on the couch, eating food, watching TV? My husband seems content with things. Does his happiness have to come at the sacrifice of mine? But am I really unhappy, or just bored? Aren’t they the same thing?

Tired. Out of balance. Bored. Really glad I didn’t drink tonight. I can hang my hat on that even if I don’t have anything else to hang my hat on … or even have a hat.