Fantasies

For many years, I’ve played out how I’d quit my job. No dramatics, just quiet smack downs. Was just doing that. Instead of quitting, I pretend to quit.

I wasted today, probably one of the most gorgeous days in the history of everness. I wasted it because I was exhausted (hungover) and depressed.

Fuck this shit, seriously, fuck it. An escalating disease, hell yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever been this bad before, except maybe before I knew it wasn’t normal to drink like crazy every night and fall asleep on your bathroom floor.

Now I know, and I still fall asleep places I shouldn’t. FUCK THIS SHIT!!!

Please let me be done, lord. I want to be done.