Well … how did I get here?
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful Wife
And you may ask yourself, “Well… how did I get here?”
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
–Talking Heads, “Once in a Lifetime”
I’m not a huge Talking Heads fan but, lord, if these lyrics aren’t speaking to me right now. On the one hand, I am exceedingly happy - I have not hit 7 days of no drinking (all right, all right, officially as I write 6 days, 10 hours and 25 minutes) in years. Honest to God years.
And it’s been relatively easy thus far. And I am over-the-moon thankful and grateful for that and, being the greedy pants that I am, I’m going to ask the lord for another easy day today (please and thank you). But what’s not been easy, as the layers of wine and whiskey have evaporated, is seeing the state of things.
We met with our insurance guy this morning, an appointment that’s been on the books for months. And I’ll be doggoned if the husband and I could remember why he was coming. Turns out it was to set up a new retirement account. Oh. That.
Between my gambling, our drinking (yes, I’m sharing some of that blame with my husband) and our general disrespect for money (the dynamic duo again), our finances are a mess. A Mess. A retirement account is probably the least of our worries at the moment, but it’s definitely on the “must have” list. As we’re ever-so-slowly starting to untangle our money issues, I’m filled with all sorts of remorse and regret.
I make a Very Good Living for any region of the United States but particularly for our part of the world. My husband also makes a Good Living. Together, we should be in very solid shape. But we are not.
I can only speculate and say that it embarrasses my husband. I can tell you unequivocally that it embarrasses me. I am not a dumb person. I understand the simple concept of “don’t spend more than you make.” And, yet, here we are.
I know regret gets me nothing, and that it’s only through positive action that we’ll make progress. So, let me put aside my regret for the moment and focus on one very immediate positive from these 6 days, 10 hours and 32 minutes now: We’ve easily saved $100 by my not drinking in one week.
I would estimate that on Sundays, we’d spend $24 to get a box of wine. That might last us until maaaaaaybe Monday. Many a Sunday, we’ve tore through a box between the two of us and gone for reinforcements. But let’s assume it was a low-key Sunday.
So, then Tuesday, I’d go down to the store and buy a $12 magnum of cheap red wine for me and a “nice” $12 bottle of wine for my husband.
Wednesday, I might decide to “take a break” and just have a beer or three. My husband would finish whatever was left of the magnum of cheap red wine.
Thursday, I’d be back at the store for another $24 price tag.
Friday, rinse and repeat: $24
Saturdays, believe it or not, I might go easy. Again, maybe a glass of wine, a few beers, but just as often, I’d stop at the liquor store for a pint of whiskey and fancy ginger beer; $14 for the whiskey and $6 for the ginger beer.
Sunday: box of wine! $24.
So, a typical week for us: $116 spent on alcohol. Holy shit. That’s $400 a month - and that’s just for “at-home” consumption. That doesn’t even factor in brunches or dinners. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
That is $4,800 a year. That damn near maxes out funding for a typical retirement account. Holy shit.
I can’t believe I never did the numbers before. I am both sick and inspired. Sick that we’ve poured so much money down our gullets, but inspired of what we can do with it now that we’re not. I say “we” - my sweet husband seems to be drinking less just by osmosis.
Truth be told, that $400 a month has already been spent several times over, so it’ll just be thrown at debt of one form or another. But, wow, that’s significant.
The insights just keep coming. I am not ready to commit and say that I won’t ever drink again. But I can tell you that I am committed to at least this 90 day run because I am learning so much, good and bad. Here’s to being almost halfway done with day 6.