I don’t have to accept others’ opinions of me as fact

Wow, an emotional couple of days. Turns out, my boss is harboring resentment for me. She feels I undermine her in public, am trying to minimize her role and generally don’t cheerlead for her enough. Plus I take charge when I have no business doing so.

I’ll cop to that last one - with the caveat that I step in and take charge when I sense that no one else is. Perhaps my senses are off, but in the absence of a clear leader, I’ll assume the role.

But the rest? Wow. Just wow. Born entirely of her insecurities.

So, now I’m left wondering how to respond.

1. Take the easy route and tell her what she wants to hear just to make it go away? “I love you. You’re the best boss ever. I’m soooooooooo sorry.”

2. Take the middle road and try to temper some of that in with some explanation of where the misunderstanding may have started.

3. Tell her to go fuck herself and give her the name of my therapist.

She sent this feedback via email, incidentally. So, I responded graciously, telling her I needed some more time to reflect on it because, honestly, I’m liable to move forward on 1, 2 or 3 at this point.

Honestly, my deepest feeling is gratitude. Without some prodding, I would probably stay in this job, wasting away. There are few things that offend my core sensibilities more than being reprimanded for what I perceive as a strength and, B, taking the flak for someone else’s insecurity. Oh, and C - not being sure how to act going forward. I’m feeling very unsure of how I should act, behave, speak, etc. That’s not comfortable or productive.

So, I’m going to send out some resumes for my own peace of mind. I have some safety net in that, even if we can’t resolve this, it’ll take a while to off-board me just because of some projects we have in the works. But maybe ripping the Band-Aid off is best.