Low

I’ve been feeling low and unmotivated, and then I realized I haven’t been writing here much. It does help to unburden my mind here on this screen.

Just tired, very tired. I thought when I stopped drinking (30 days today, believe it or not) that, if nothing else, I’d have more energy and feel better. While it’s fantastic not being hung over, I can’t say I feel exactly spritely. Perhaps my expectations are too high.

Or, perhaps I’m working too much. Or, perhaps I have too many financial what-ifs looming over my head. Or perhaps I’m realizing that my marriage may not ever be what I want it to be, and so I’ll have to make a decision there - either accept it or move on. Or perhaps I hate my job and I worry that leaving it would burn some bridges that I don’t want to burn just yet.

Perhaps.

Well, one thing I do know: writing here helps. So, I will continue that, and aim for once a day, at least. It’s better to leave this crap here on the page than to keep carrying it around with me in my head.