Pink Wine

Well, shit. I don’t even know where to start. Part of the problem, I guess. I had a REALLY bad week last week in terms of abusing my poor body and drinking. Partly hormonal, partly emotional, partly physical, partly I just didn’t want to be where in the hell I was.

I was hung over every day, sleep deprived (by my own hand) and depressed as hell.

I abstained Friday and was so glad for it Saturday.

I was feeling good Saturday and fine with not drinking and then - whoomp - I went and bought a bottle of wine (pink - I have been drinking pink wine lately and I couldn’t tell you why), and mixed two vodka drinks before I opened it, and had a few glasses of red after that.

I got shitfaced and tried to have some kind of serious conversation with my husband.

I didn’t “intend” to drink Sunday, but I did because I was so hungover. Thankfully, I stopped on the early side, gradually powering down by around 8 and took a mug of tea to bed and was asleep by 9:30 or so. But I slept fitfully and woke up anxious.

I have a lot on my plate at work, and I feel “things” looming. I don’t know what, just things that are making me worried. I’m trying to be rational about of this and failing miserably.

Is it really just work? If I changed the situation there, would everything else fall magically into place? That seems a little too simple and unrealistic.

But sometimes it is the obvious thing.

Oh, bother. I can tell you, though, I do feel better for writing now. Not fixed, but better.