Pride and Anger

Day 8, wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, and I and feeling proud of myself, yes I am. Lord, considering I didn’t give into sloth or gluttony today, can you forgive me of my prideful ways, and could you help me through tomorrow, too?

I did, however, have a flash of anger so sharp today that - wow. It took me some place else. Not necessarily a bad thing but unexpected. It had to do with husband’s job and lunch menus and Frenchmen. I was angry in defense of someone, which I ultimately take as a good sign. My feelings are starting to un-numb.

My friend, L, said she heard on one of the Oprah folks’ shows about how when you numb, you don’t just numb the “bad” parts, you numb the good parts, too. It may sound odd, but I count that anger, that heat, as a good part, too. I can be a little acquiescing as a coping mechanism, so when I get fired up, I know it’s coming from an authentic place deep within the forgotten or overgrown parts of myself.

Got to temper it, of course, but as long as I’m getting het up when I think someone’s been wronged and not, like, at poor, innocent cashiers at the Dairy Mart, then we’re doing ok.