Shift

Trying to be mindful because I feel a slight shift in myself - not a particularly positive one, like a backslide of sorts.

I went to a modern Christian church in my late teens where, side by side bad apples fresh from juvie who were supposedly reformed and good lambs who had always grown up in the church, I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior. Aside my ticket to heaven, I also learned the word “backslide” and it’s always been one of my secret favorite phrases.

But back to my backslide … I haven’t done anything yet, but I feel the vigilance weakening. I feel laziness creeping in. I feel vulnerable in a way that I haven’t in the past 23 days.

Of course, it could just be that I’m tired and coming off of several really challenging weeks of work and longer days. It could just be that.

I don’t know. Tonight I’m going to hunker down, watch multiple hours of TV and get to bed early in hopes that my soul will be fully restored tomorrow.