Unresolved

Yes, definitely weakening here. I considered drinking today. Not seriously, not intently, but I did. I think what I’m feeling is sad for myself. Lonely. Tired. Worried about finances. Rinse repeat.

25 fucking days is no joke. But I haven’t talked to my best friend, or made love with my husband, or tried anything new (except not drinking) in 25 days. So, what’s my point? Nothing changes if nothing changes.

I’m feeling rough and unsettled and exhausted. And my husband is out for a beer.

I’m not entirely sure we’re going to make it, he and I. I don’t think I want to have kids. I’ll close with that. Sleep on it and see how that feels in the morning.