Whooo - cravings

Seemingly out of nowhere. It’s my brain thinking, “Well, since you’re off the sauce again, how about we gamble?”

I’m doing tax stuff itemizing for 2013 and the list of gambling losses is … triggery. Like, “I spent $1200 in one day; what’s the harm if I just take a couple hundred today?”

The harm is that:

1. That look on my husband’s face.
2. It won’t just be a couple hundred; I will spent thousands we don’t have.
3. Loss of trust.
4. Even more stringent watching and monitoring of my money.
5. Starting all over from square 1.
6. The GA folks will be “right” - we can’t have that, can we?
7. More stress > more drinking > more depression > self-harm thoughts

OK, resolved. No gambling today. I don’t have to do anything else as long as I don’t gamble.

I’m going to go eat a sandwich.